30 July, 2007

"I'll be your lover..

I'll be forever, I'll be tomorrow, I am anything when I'm high." Does that include always thinking you're right and the person you're talking to on the phone is an imbecile?

My customers always seem like they think that way.

My response is "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers." I'm a dirty Rock Star. You heard me, mentally, I know I'm a dirty rock star. Your duaghters are my groupies.

Who feels like getting crunk tonight? I know I be :D

Labels: , ,

posted by The James @ 7/30/2007 01:13:00 PM   0 Comments

29 July, 2007

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

If you can't hear me, but the other 500 people I speak to in a week can, it's not me, it's you. Shut up.

Do not repeatedly tell me that I'm a "fucking idiot" and "a piece of shit nigger." You do not know me, you do not know how long I've been doing this job, you don't know how long I've actually been using computers. You have no idea what race I am. Why don't you go back to your own country you fucking white trash whore. What? You don't have a country? Well.. Get that mixed blood shit outta my face and go to Germany where they'll hate you cause you're not pure enough for them, just like you hate spics niggers injuns kykes jews, etc.. They'll hate you for not being white enough. You need to die in a fire you pice of shit fucking bitch. I'm better at this job better than you are at sucking cock. Matter of fact, I bet if I ever started sucking cock, I'd even be better than you at it. Your husband would leave you for me I bet I'd be that much better than you, and I've never even tried it.

If you want a signal sent to your modem, how about I come down there, with my 22 and send a signal right up it's candy ass? What's that? You live on a road called "Poverty Road" Maybe that should give you a hint about your mental capacity as well.

For the first time ever, in my many years working here, I was beyond pissed! I actually logged out, and had to take a walk to calm down. First time in over 10 years I've had to take a walk to calm down matter of factly. Congratulations you white trash woman, you infuriated a once noble and peaceful being. Now I could care less about anyone I speak with. I am going to upgrade every single customer I speak with now, and tell them I can't help them unless they agree to an upgrade.

I love listening to violent music now while talking with customers on my cellphone.

Listening to: Avenged Sevenfold - Beast and the Harlot

Not really violent persay that song is, but it fucking rocks! Plus, it's one of the best songs on Guitar Hero II. Go ninja go ninja go!

Labels: ,

posted by The James @ 7/29/2007 10:46:00 PM   2 Comments

28 July, 2007

"We use our cellphones"

When I ask you for your home phone number, and you tell me "We use our cellphones," listen to what you just said. If you only use your cellphone, then that is in fact your home phone.

Better yet, listen to how stupid you sounded when you said that. I think that line itself stopped being funny after 1997. The James is killed by your sad sad joke.



Fuck Yeah! Go Dark Knight go Dark Knight, it's your birthday wootahg! I was a little worried about Heath Ledger at first as The Joker, but after seeing some screen shots and audio samples, and the above video I feel much better about this choice.

Please, oh please please please, can you short people not use the taller urinal? Do you know how difficult it is for a man of my height to bend down and straddle a short urinal to ensure one doesn't piss all over himself or the floor? If the flushing mechanism is the same height as your chin, you're too short to use it. If your balls are touching the bottom of it, you're too short for it.

Friend of mine has been running her own site for a little while now, (NSFW) UndressJess.com, you all should go join and show her support! NOW! I DEMANDS IT!

So who wants me to do a photoshoot with them? Hmm? Come on, it'll only cost you $500.00/day or not...

I think I'll end this with a smile.


Labels: , ,

posted by The James @ 7/28/2007 03:46:00 PM   1 Comments

27 July, 2007

Bringing back Icoms! woo!

Below is a summary of an email we got today. Essentially, we are going to be re-trained.. yet again... for a billing system we were guranteed told was never going to return.


Hello Team,

...As you have noticed, we have staffed to capacity, decreased attrition, and are producing a positive service level daily. This allows us to become more flexible. Our current plan is to train/re-train our HSI agents to handle ICOMS market calls....Now that we are virtualized and can handle all ICOMS areas within the Charter environment, it makes sense to train our employees, and give them additional opportunities in both ACSR and ICOMS areas.

...Your supervisor will give you details as to when your actual training/re-training will take place...

Director, Customer Care
_________________________________
Louisville, KY 40223

Phone: 888-888-8888
BlackBerry: 888-888-8889
Conference: 888-888-8810
Fax: 888-888-8811
bob@bob.bob

Labels: ,

posted by The James @ 7/27/2007 01:21:00 PM   2 Comments

Pre-call script

So, yeah, h8chu.

Anytime we roll a truck for any reason, we must do the following. How un-customer-friendly, but yet straight and to the point. In addition, makes it a hell of a lot easier because the customer can't argue back with you about it :D

After you confirm date and time of customer’s appointment, instead of providing the customer with the scripted pre-call information, provide the customer with the following:

• “Since we will call you before coming to your home, what is the preferred number for our technician to reach you?”

• ”Please ensure that someone over the age of 18 is home to provide access to our technician”

• “I am now going to transfer you to our automated system which will give you critical information about your appointment, thank you for choosing XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXX and have a great day.”

• XXXXXXX Sites: Then transfer the customer to the assigned pre-call designation on your soft phone. If not programmed on your soft phone, check XXX Transfer Page for VDN number.

Your XXXXXXX representative will attempt to call you two times on the day of your appointment, at the number you provided, if no one is reached either time, your appointment will be canceled as we will assume no one is home. If your appointment is cancelled, please give us a call back to reschedule.

Should you need to alter your appointment please contact us.

Please ensure that your technician has full access to your property, both inside and out. If you live in a multi-family dwelling, please make sure that the technician can enter all areas containing XXXXXXX equipment or cabling.

Please ensure that someone over the age of 18 is at your home to provide access to the technician.



If you need additional information, or are unable to meet any of these requirements, please call back at 1-XXX-XXX-XXXX(1-XXX-XXX-XXXX.)

Please feel free to visit our website at www.tsali.net


Thank you for choosing XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXX. We value your business and regret you are encountering service interruptions. If you missed any of this information or would like to hear it again, please stay on the line as this message will repeat.

Labels:

posted by The James @ 7/27/2007 11:53:00 AM   1 Comments

23 July, 2007

Learn to use your own programs bub...

Does the fact I said that the email address was still accessible not mean anything? If I give a password, saying customer wants to move the address to this account and we have permission, please do a little more investigating. Also, please know what programs we're using, if I ask you if you did an openwave query, do not say that you used Aurora. That's like a big fucking "DUH!" being tattooed across your idiot forehead.

Doing an openwave query is using a part of Aurora to find out if an email address exists in our system or if it's been completely wiped out of the system yet. If you don't even know what an open wave query is, then go back to being a newb on the floor you piece of shit dumbass.

Previous chat session is closed. Click here to initiate a new session.

STATUS: Chat Session Is Closed.

(SYSTEM): Do you have a question for Fishbear? Email him at askfishbear@charter.net – we’ll pay $5 in Charter Chips if we print YOUR question!(unless you are a lead)

(jwashington): [11:11:19 AM] Problem/Issue: Chad CI, verified account with Kyle, trying to change password on email address chadnc@charter.net and also for the webspace chadnc , these do not show on customers account. Customer states they were created on an old account they had 6 years ago, the email is still accessible with their password while the webspace is not. The email address is chadnc@charter.net password: face1

XXXX XXXXXX
XXX XXXXXX XXX
Lincolnton NC 28092

(SYSTEM): [11:11:19 AM] jwashington (172.21.236.129) has joined this chat session...

(SYSTEM): [11:11:31 AM] Lead has joined this chat session...

(jwashington): [11:11:36 AM] Good morning.

(jbryant): [11:11:37 AM] hello

(jbryant): [11:12:26 AM] wooo

(jbryant): [11:12:41 AM] I can help you with this issue, please give me one moment topull up the acct and we can get started

(jwashington): [11:12:41 AM] indeed indeed

(jwashington): [11:12:45 AM] coo coo thanks, np

(jbryant): [11:14:20 AM] So you talked with kyle

(jwashington): [11:15:12 AM] yes

(jwashington): [11:15:28 AM] kyle says it's okay to put them on the account so they can have access to them again

(jbryant): [11:15:38 AM] I did a search of the email address and it said does not exist

(jbryant): [11:16:17 AM] but does not matter, if kyle wants you to add email address and web space have him do it in Member services

(jwashington): [11:16:24 AM] did you openwave query it?

(jbryant): [11:16:27 AM] walk him to that and he can do it

(jbryant): [11:16:41 AM] I used aurora

(jwashington): [11:16:50 AM] mail=chadnc@charter.net,o=mig_flat,dc=charter,dc=net adminpolicydn : cn=complete,cn=site,cn=admin root cn : chadnc@charter.net mail : chadnc@charter.net mailautoreplyhost : mssf01 mailboxid : 1070597750120540041224 mailboxstatus : A mailfamilymailbox : 0 mailimapproxyhost : charter_net_imap_proxy maillogin : chadnc@charter.net mailmessagestore : mssf01 mailparentalcontrol : 0 mailpasswordtype : C mailpopproxyhost : charter_net_pop_proxy_m mailsmtprelayhost : 209.225.8.223 mailwebmailusesignature : 0 objectclass : top objectclass : person objectclass : inetorgperson objectclass : mailUser objectclass : mailUserPrefs objectclass : adminUserPrefs objectclass : msgUser objectclass : msgUserPrefs objectclass : organizationalperson sn : chadnc@charter.net

(jwashington): [11:17:23 AM] these have been orphaned.

(jbryant): [11:20:29 AM] done, their back

(jwashington): [11:20:33 AM] Okay cool thanks, that's all I needed on this call, have a good day.

(jbryant): [11:20:35 AM] Is there anything else I can do for you?

(jbryant): [11:20:40 AM] Have a great day :)

(SYSTEM): [11:20:49 AM] Lead has left chat session...



Also, customer, FYI.... Not that long ago is a week or two, not 3-4 months ago. Please do not say "Can you ping my modem?" because that just grates my nerves. You have no idea what any of that means.

Me: "Okay, go ahead and open Internet explor...."
Customer: "I've already done that!!!"

Listen, please, for the love of your life and time, do not fight us if we ask you to do something. The more you fight, the longer the call is going to take. Doing this, we will be less likely to feel empathy for you or help you out, or even offer ways to save you on your $300 cable bill.

If you follow our lead, generally your call will last less than 8 minutes, we will have gone over your services and offered you something new that will lower your bill, and have either gotten you back online or scheduled out a trouble call.

No, nothing you do can will resolve a signal issue outside the home, unless you have cable repair equipment, meters, and amplifiers etc.. Inside the home, yes, anything inside the home is your property. We do not own anything but the equipment you are leasing. 99.9999999999...% of the time, it will not be the modem itself, and most likely it won't be resolved till we get our people out there.

Yes you will be charged if you do not have wiremaintenence and it turns out the $3.00 special splitter you got from Big Lots! is the culprit. We will replace the splitter, charge you for the cost of that splitter, and charge you a minimum of $36 for the service call in addition to hourly charges. Sure, you may get a credit to your account for time down... a whole $3.00 for 3 days down, wow (lacklutered response.)

Stop fighting the tech on the line, do as they say, and we will do everything in our power to help you. FYI, the Tier II tech on the line has the same power in the company as a Tier III tech (Tier III just doesn't talk to customers unless the customer wants to be escalated. Generally they do as we ask them, because they have maybe .5% more access in the same programs we all use) or as a supervisor. If we say we can't get anybody out there in a more specific time frame than 4 hours because you work and it's Sunday which is your only day off and we don't roll on Sundays, then we just can't. Don't you realize I work too? Why else, on a Sunday, would I be sitting here listen to you complain about the 6 trillion dollar deal you just lost out on? Not because I enjoy being bitched out all the time because I am the voice of a company you feel has no concern for your issue. It's because I'm being paid a minimal amount to listen to you babble on about a bunch of BS I could give a rats ass about. To hear the same things you're telling me right now, a therapist would charge you $80/hour, so.. How bout you pay my therapists salary now eh? What? No? You don't want to help support a kid down on his luck, who is blatantly suicidal and will go over the edge and blow his brains out if you decline his simple $2.95 Wire Maintenance upgrade to protect your services? Well fuck you too buddy.

Labels: , , ,

posted by The James @ 7/23/2007 11:49:00 AM   1 Comments

20 July, 2007

Know your PnP Punk.

Okay, man, seriously, listen.. Mmkay, you listening? What? NO!?? THE NEW BACKSTREET BOYS VIDEO FROM THEIR REUNION TOUR IS ON?!?! WHAAAAAAAAA?

So yeah, totally, check it. When you attempt to tell someone what another department does in certain situations, be sure to know you're own PNP about the situation first. In addtion, please advise the person you're chatting with on what you are doing. Do not let it sit for nearly 10 minutes before you send any sort of response.

STATUS: Chat Session Is Closed.

(SYSTEM): Do you have a question for Fishbear? Email him at askfishbear@charter.net – we’ll pay $5 in Charter Chips if we print YOUR question!(unless you are a lead)

(jwashington): [03:59:47 PM] Problem/Issue: CCI, states he did not want a precall, dispatch comments show we attempted precalls to the customer. Customer extremely upset and wants us to get teh tech out to them this afternoon/evening. Customer not accepting of any reschedule I can offer him at this time.

XXXXX XXXXXX
XXX XXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXX XXX
Jackson TN 38305

(SYSTEM): [03:59:48 PM] jwashington (172.21.236.129) has joined this chat session...

(jwashington): [03:59:54 PM] Good afternoon.

(SYSTEM): [03:59:59 PM] Lead has joined this chat session...

(jbryant): [04:00:03 PM] hello

(jbryant): [04:00:30 PM] I can help you with this issue, please give me one moment topull up the acct and we can get started

(jwashington): [04:00:39 PM] Okay np, thanks.

(jbryant): [04:01:53 PM] the job does not say nopc#

(jwashington): [04:02:01 PM] it also doesn't list a PC#

(jbryant): [04:02:37 PM] they use main number when that happens

(jbryant): [04:02:48 PM] I can call

(jwashington): [04:05:03 PM] "What happens if we forget to put the correct number in the job comments? Or the customer says they did not receive a call?" If the offered quota is unacceptable to the customer, then you should open up a dispatch chat. While dispatch may view this as a missed appointment on the customer side, the lead group will attempt to have the quota moved up to a time frame that is more acceptable for the customer. This is a great example of the importance of making sure we have a strong understanding of our Pre-Call policy.

(jbryant): [04:08:34 PM] boy you like typing don't you

(jbryant): [04:09:00 PM] I have already done that and they will send someone out today

(jbryant): [04:09:41 PM] but if the number is left out they call the main number

(jbryant): [04:09:51 PM] Is there anything else I can do for you?

(jwashington): [04:10:06 PM] No, that was all, thanks for the time and have a pleasent day.

(jbryant): [04:10:11 PM] Have a great day :)

(SYSTEM): [04:10:19 PM] Lead has left chat session...

Labels: , , ,

posted by The James @ 7/20/2007 04:20:00 PM   3 Comments

19 July, 2007

Downlading really does incourage?? WHAT???

Are child porn viewers more likely to commit molestation?

Based on this study, that several people are trying to get rushed to publication anywhere they can, 80 somewhat percent of people who view child porn are also molesters at some point as well.

I beg to differ.

I have seen child porn, but only because when I do a search on a P2P network, I put in generalized search terms, then select all results and then download all results. After I've downloaded, I remove the items that are in distaste, or did not match what I was looking for.

I'm not saying I put in terms like "MILF" or "ANAL WITH WII CONTROLLER," I quite literally put in "Soccer," "Brazil," or even "Japan." Many of which will return videos/images of exactly what I typed in, but a few, based on how child pornographers label their images/videos any more, will return child porn.

Since I've seen these types of images, (and mind you I have seen more naked people/children at the beach as parents change them in a rather distasteful way in public, and many even let their children run around without clothes on at all) does that mean I am going to go find the nearest child and fondle them? Fuck no. All it means is I need to be more specific about what I search for. Instead of Soccer, I'll have to search for "That black and white soccer ball with the sexy David Beckam and other players who use their feet and heads to score goals on a large field and that the refs use yellow and red flags on and seem to act kinda faggish when they raise their arms with the flags but are by no means gay."

But I guess since I have seen some images in the past of children naked, including the pictures many parents take of their children playing with soap suds in the bath or running around the house chasing the dog in a cute way, then according to this study I will molest a child guaranteed. Tell you what, I'll go do it right now... There, I molested my own testicles, the youngest child possible since they're still sperms and have yet to enter a fallopian tube to attempt to impregnate an egg from Norma. If this sounded ludicrous to you, then this overall study should be just the same.

Now, by no means am I attempting to protect child molesters or pornographers, I'm merely trying to protect individual rights. This type of study is along the same lines as saying anyone who wears a turban is a terrorist associated with Al-Qeada. Do we not remember that even traditionalist Cherokee's wear turbans as well? What about Ninjas? They wear cloth wrapped around their heads too! While we're at it, bikers, pirates, and the cool hipster chicks in Hollywood (Paris Hilton) who wear bandannas! AHH!!! PARIS HILTON IS A CHILD MOLESTER AND A TERRORIST BECAUSE SHE WEARS CLOTH ON HER HEAD!!!

Let's see here now.. Oh yeah, anywho who owns a guitar must be a rockstar and can play awesomely well. Anyone with a hand masturbates. If you go swimming in the ocean then you will be eaten by a shark. Planes can't fly because it's against the law of gravity. And lastly, there is no such thing as AIDS.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled government mind controlling sessions.

Labels: , , , , ,

posted by The James @ 7/19/2007 11:16:00 AM   0 Comments

16 July, 2007

Chicken dance?

No, you're not being funny when you say "You're making your customers do a chicken dance, I'm not being facetious here" When you say things like that, it'll immediately regurgitate a reaction of disdain from the person you are speaking with.

If we ask you to do something, a simple reply of "Okay" will work, we don't need to know you've done it a million times already with the automated system, because when we have you do it, we are checking into things on our end with the modem offline completely. If we ask you to bypass your router, please let us know you're on VOIP so we can tell you to call back when you've bypassed it and gotten a real phone line. You know, there is a reason you're paying only 24.95 for Vonage and have faith in the fact their piggy-backing across other companies and really have no liability in any issues you will have with the quality of your phone service.

Wrestling is not fake, it's pre-planned.

Detective Goren on Law & Order: CSI is hot.

I've applied for CB, I'm scheduled for an interview on Wednesday, I am coming in on my day off to do this. I just hope I can get Tuesday-Thursday off as well, I like working weekends.

Do not, under any circumstance, call the female representitive that you are talking to on the phone a "Fucking Cunt." She knows more about a DNS-A Client table than you know about how to hit the power button and can even rebuild your carbouretor on your 69 Camaro. In addtion, she now knows the last four of your social, has your credit card information, name and address, phone number and date of birth. So when you start getting those penis pumps and viagra's in the mail, and an FBI agent knocking at your door for the kiddy porn and unsolicited calls on an unsecure line to terrorist groups, just think about how you could've been a nicer person to others.

Windows Live is a hell of a lot better on Windows Mobile phones than Google maps. Better directions, better resources, better listings and contact info, bettter mapping. Many many things are so much more complient with it. Come on Google, get with the program for mobile pc phones. I need my Google! Praise Google.

"I demand that you put you massive piece of hard wood in my hands right now!!" I love wrestling :D

Labels: , , , ,

posted by The James @ 7/16/2007 10:27:00 PM   0 Comments

15 July, 2007

This will be...

A very useful and help tidbit of information.

HOW TO OPEN A BEER BOTTLE WITH ONLY A PIECE OF PAPER




And more ways to open beer bottles available at this site! Woo! Go Beer!

Labels:

posted by The James @ 7/15/2007 06:40:00 PM   0 Comments

Just because..

Your newly downloaded program says to contact your network provider for assistance, that doesn't mean you have the right to call us and complain. If any portion of your internet is working, then do not call us.

Instead, you should contact the software company itself and find out why their program isn't working, when everything else internet based on the computer is working.

Lastly for now, this is a good article on how to remove ants from your home on WikiHow. Or for those of you who are eco-conscious, try the eco-friendly way.

Labels: , ,

posted by The James @ 7/15/2007 01:30:00 PM   0 Comments

Does this mean I'll be without Internet?

Yes.

Seriously, what kind of moron asks:

"So this means I'll be offline until a tech checks my lines to fix this -68 downstream and 8.3 upsteram?"


Do you believe I'm sitting here with a knob in front of me and purposely turning your internet with bad levels? All this just so we can sign you up for wiremaintenence or charge you a service call charge? Just for sending a tech out when you're inside wiring has gone bad because you nailed a photo that you took with such great pride that really sucks into the wall?

Yes, that picture you just hung up went right through our cable line behind the wall, and without the wire plan, we are going to charge you $36 (give or take) for the service call. Then we're going to charge you per hour, then for a wallfish, and then for a new outlet.

Now you're thinking "What good does this wiremaintenence plan do me honestly?" Well, I'll tell ya, anything we send a tech out to you for, with the exception of installing anything or just to do a new outlet because you don't like where it's at, will be free of charge. Even if it's just to tell you that the monitor saying "Check Signal" means to check the line going from the PC (Brains, Hard Drive, Tower, Motherboard, etc..) to the Monitor (PC, Screen, Flashy Box, TV, Picture Tube, Thing with pretty colours, etc..) and make sure it's plugged in. No, we won't do it for you.

Now listen here, just because you ask for a supervisor, it doesn't mean you'll get anything taken care of better than what I can. If you're nice to us, then we will contact dispatch and attempt to see if we can get something pulle sooner if it's available, and if dispatch says no, then even a manager can't get them to say yes. We may have only two field techs for a 50 mile radius, and they on average may have 40 jobs a day a piece. If you want more techs and quicker turn around on repairs, then don't fight the prices going up, we honestly don't have control over that. Complain to NBC, CBS, ABC, Disney, and especially ESPN if you don't like cable price hikes. If we refuse to add ESPN College to the sports pak only, then ESPN threatens to pull all ESPN owned programming, and who get the downfall of that? Yes, your cable provider does, because you call to bitch us out.

Remember, you're paying for a luxury, not a necessity. No, you child doesn't NEED to watch Dora the Explora or Barney TNG. You do not need to see the odd ending of The Alto's or the Sex in the Nursing Home reunion in 2010. Cable TV is for entertainment purposes only, and so is the Internet. Again, for the "I run my business from this" responses to this post, please look for all entries I made pertaining to the terms "Business," "Businesses" and "Idiots."

There are a lot more useful things you could be doing with your time and money. Go out with your kids, take them to a park, an art fesitval, a Jazz show, the theatre. No not to the movies see Harry Potter for the sixth time, but to a real theatre to see actors on stage. Go to a museum and learn about this countries past, both the good and the bad. Take a hiking trip or a canoe trip, take some kayak lessons, there is a hell of a lot more to life than sitting on your ass watching who adds and deleted you on MySpace or watching the same stupid videos on Youtube and Pickle.

Did you know that the lions who plagued Africa as seen in the movie "The Ghost and the Darkness" are on display at the Field Museum in Chicago?

No, bet you didn't, because you haven't left your house since Val Kilmer was in an AfterSchool Special for anything other than McDonald's or for Killians Irish Red. You fat slob piece of crap you are. No, not really, I keed keed! I really love you guys :-p You pay me! Of course I lova ya'll!

Labels: , , , , ,

posted by The James @ 7/15/2007 11:43:00 AM   2 Comments

14 July, 2007

A new belief system?

While there will of course be many that will stand by (ISP), I can not blame them. It's hard to want to realze that, due to circumstances beyond your control, your pride, ethics, morality and integriy all have a price. A price which so happens to be that of the company's stock.

Or.. maybe I'm just ca-raz-zzzzzzie

Labels:

posted by The James @ 7/14/2007 09:57:00 PM   1 Comments

Friends exit interview

A friend of mine, who used to work with a local ISP, recently conducted their exit interview with that company. What's an exit interview you may be asking? Well, many companies now, in order to help with employee retention, conduct an exit interview. The purpose of this interview is to find out the reasons that people leave their job. Wether that be personal due to illness, or financial with getting a higher paying job, or even just flat out distrust and an extreme distaste of the company they are working for.

The following is a copy of that exit interview with key names, policies, groups and so on removed so as to not identify my friend, their company, their sex, or even their choice of bread. Yes bread, wonderful healthy and hapless bread. Why is bread hapless? BECAUSE I FREAKING SAY SO MAN!

"Since I am unable to access the Exit Interview, I will send my reasons for needing to leave XXXXXXXX here. On a consistent basis, I have been startled and disappointed by the words, actions, policies and processes I have experienced in my three years here, with each and every event in complete opposition to our Mission Statement posted at www.XXXXXXXX.com, to the point that my *personal* operating values are compromised, and that is why I feel I need to choose an environment and culture consistent with XXXXXXXX’s own six values.

Examples?

- Genuine Focus on the Customer: I did not believe selling self-install kits to customers without USB cable modem drivers was an example of this value, and was taken back to see recent HSD agents being required to transfer these customers who could not connect to the (PC Repair Partners) where they needed to pay for assistance. I’d spoken to a number of people here with regard to this, and it seemed to be the general consensus this was great for profits. I did submit a plea through EthicsPoint to have this changed, and it has been. However, the action itself was not consistent with this value, and I was disappointed that XXXXXXXX even considered doing as such.

- When the customer does have issues with their hardware, agents do connect them with the (PC Repair Partners) for resolution. The (PC Repair Partners) profits, XXXXXXXX profits, and the customer benefits, yet the individual agents responsible for bringing them together received nothing. That action reduced morale, increased employee turnover, and if agents were given a commission, would have increased revenue. The fact that XXXXXXXX refused to do this makes us understand we are not valued.

- Teamwork: A Unified XXXXXXXX Team: When (Call Center Location) (VOIP) team was created, we were not told this would be a “temporary” special project, although it is my belief that when (Vice President of Customer Care) order it’s creation, it was known at that point in time we were put into place only until outsourcers could be trained. Yet XXXXXXXX proceeded to select it’s top and most valued performers for this (VOIP) team, uprooting them from shifts and positions many had taken years to earn, and within a few short months, with no concern or remorse, not only disbanded the team, but attempted to put all those that were misled to believing they were improving their lives back below the bottom of the food chain to choose scraps of shifts and positions the balance of the call center refused. Over 100 people, myself included, found themselves with their lives, schedules and families disrupted because XXXXXXXX did not have the courtesy to inform us up front what we were moving into. The decision to create this temporary team without informing those that chose to help it grow is not consistent with this value and makes it clear we are simply numbers in a system of checks and balances, and not human beings.

- Recently our team was asked to bring in photos of friends and family members to post in our pods, the theory being hopefully we would envision our customers possibly being one of them so we would treat them as friends and (New Slogan) as part of our new campaign. Perhaps Corporate might also want to take a walk around the pods and view these photos the next time they decide to bump off nearly 250 employees in one fell swoop as they did two years ago as a result of an injudicious forecasting error disguised as an attendance scare tactic.

I recruited many of my friends and co-workers to join this (VOIP) team. Can you see now why there is little likelihood I, or anyone associated with the (VOIP) nuke, would ever again recruit a co-worker or friend for any transition, promotion or employment at XXXXXXXX? The above action is also not consistent with responsibility, commitment, honesty, integrity and accountability. And over and above all XXXXXXXX’s values – it is those I needed the most and have seen the least of.

Those of us that survived the (VOIP) transition were then put back into HSD (training). Yes, I was declined the position of (training) coach. Why? I was told I’d needed improvement in “positive word choice”.

Yet the day we’d begun (training), the first thing said when two coaches entered the room was “everyone lock their computers now” and it went downhill from there. After the first week, the coaches proceeded to announce some small awards given to our class, and the group was quite happy about it – discussing and comparing successes, when one of the coaches stood up and said, “You need to be quiet and show us some respect”. Ten minutes later, a second coach stood up and said there would be no more falling asleep during the morning verbatim slide presentations, and for us to again show some respect. A discussion ensued about how difficult it was to in fact stay awake during those presentations since we’d all used the applications they were teaching for nearly a year, and it appeared as though some agreement had been reached on all sides.

The next day Ms. R. visited our class, calling us all off the phones and proceeded to reprimand us on “professionalism and insubordination”, asking how we would feel if someone “didn’t like us” and if we “had to go home to our families after being criticized”. We do every day. Management, Supervisors and Coaches alike are not above having opportunities, and if it takes them out of their comfort levels to be asked questions or hear difficulties their classes or agents or having, they are in the wrong position, and it is they who have the misconception about why they are there.

Mr. D. was giving a class one day during (training), and asked a question to which no one responded. He sneered out at us and said, “Are you people even here”? It was continual insults and demeaning dialogue the majority of the (training) experience – and if I was not chosen to be a part of this, I am now grateful.

There is this culture and conspiracy of silence in this call center for just the above reasons, and employees suffer in silence for fear of retribution and retaliation. The above expectation of silence is inconsistent with the High Communication Culture and Teamwork values XXXXXXXX boasts, and those that do choose to break that barrier pay for it dearly – many by losing further advancement opportunities and many by losing their jobs. Some choose not to lose their self respect and resign.

We also have a “Diversity Mission Statement" which I am sure you’ve read. Yet in our entire call center, to the best of my knowledge, we only have one person over the age of 50 in a Supervisory position. Does that reflect this statement?

When I’d expressed my views on the promotion system here at XXXXXXXX to a particular Supervisor, he’d informed me I needed to “decide whom I chose to align myself with” and that “you really don’t want people seeing you walk down the hall with XXX and XXX” (both of whom are black). Does that reflect this diversity statement? It was probably at that moment I understood I would not be at XXXXXXXX that much longer.

- Responsibility, Integrity, Accountability (I do see we’ve taken Honesty off the wall, although it still does remain on our website).

During my last promotional interview, I’d asked a number of specific questions regarding eligibility for shift bids, needing specific days off, and salary. Never once during any interview I have ever had at XXXXXXXX have I been given what the pay increase would be if I accepted the position, even after it was offered. How can they expect an employee to make an informed decision without this information?

With regard to eligibility for shift bids and specific days off, I was given definitive answers to those questions I’d asked. Yet when I chose to accept the promotion which was contingent on those responses, those answers changed, and I was deceived and misrepresented with what I was told. And now I am being told differently. That was the straw that broke my back – I do not like deception and I do not like being falsely enticed into a position. Information I’d asked should have been presented honestly so I could once again make my own informed choice.

Perhaps XXXXXXXX is making efforts to change their tarnished image from an organization that cannot be trusted with their customers, but they have not taken these strides with employees. And it is employees such as myself whose pulse you need to take from time to time to see why XXXXXXXX as a profit making organization has failed repeatedly in becoming an organization that truly reflects its own operating principles. Just as in ecosystems, food chains begin to fail from the bottom up, not the other way around, and unless the bottom of the food chain flourishes, the top will wilt as well. XXXXXXXX has consistently refused to recognize and value that bottom, and I do not see that changing.

Thanks for reading."

The James now returns you to your regularly scheduled Saturday Morning Porn.

Labels: ,

posted by The James @ 7/14/2007 10:38:00 AM   1 Comments

13 July, 2007

A low QA score?? WTF?

Sent this in to my supervisor and my QA rep this morning.

I have a question RE: QA score

How can one be scored on a form that they have yet even had the opportunity to view, or even be advised upon in any way shape form or fashion?

When I, and several of my colleagues, were forced back through the Nesting program going from TTM to HSI we were scored on the old form and were never told anything about the new form other than it would begin in July. Nearly half way through into a new month when a new form is being pushed, I was never given the opportunity to review this form with my supervisor, a QA rep, or even to have a copy sent to my inbox for my own personal review. This includes scheduled 1on1's with both QA and my supervisor that never took place, where I would've had a chance to inquire about this form.

I feel this score, with it's substantionally low rating of 36 is unjust and uncalled for, and therefore must be removed. This is akin to having a person fly the Space Shuttle in for a landing at Edwards AFB in the snow, when they don't even have a concept of how to drive an RC car.
Once I have been given this opportunity to see the new QA form, to review it, to gain understanding of it, I will be more agreeable with whatever score I will earn going forward from that point. Until then, I will be steadfast in my disagreement with this score (And any additional I may obtain until I have had the chance to review for at least 16 work hours) and it's reflection upon my abilities as a Valued Employee within Charter Communications.

Please do not take this as a personal attack in any way, I am mainly stating, albeit in a very descriptive way, that it's unfair to score an individual on something they have never been given the opportunity to see yet.

Labels: , , , ,

posted by The James @ 7/13/2007 12:12:00 PM   2 Comments

08 July, 2007

Home businesses... again...

11:15 AM - OUT OF SCOPE - CUSTOMER SAYS WE NEED TO RECOVER HIS LOST EMAILS OFF HIS COMPUTER, SAYS WE MADE HIM LOOSE 6 MILLION DOLLARS, ONCE EMAIL HAS BEEN PULLED TO CUSTOMERS PC, THEY ARE OFF THE CHARTER NETWORK, NO WAY TO RECOVER


Seriously, can we stop with the idiocy please? If 6 million dollars was really at stake here, I would assume you'd have a backup connection, or would be able to go into your office, that I bet has a fountain, and get online there.

I make barely above the poverty line, yet I have a dial up backup, a non-ISP email, and non-ISP newsgroup, and a Unix shell account. In addition I have two cars, a motorcycle, an electric bill, cable bill and cellphone bill with three lines on it. If I can afford to have a backup system, so can you. Both my cars are used cars and the motorcycle is an 81 Yamaha. just because you have the money, doesn't mean you have to use it all on expensive things.

On a side note, yes, you're brand new home will have issues. Do you honestly believe the home builders/contractors used top of the line cable wiring/jacks etc.. Unless you specifically paid them more to use the higher end stuff? Even then they'll try to take the cheapest route/equipment possible. Shit, I've even bought a $20 splitter for my cable line that was causing me to loose 18 dB's per split (2 splits) right off the store shelf, returned it, got another one, same model and all, and I was only loosing 0.02 dB's then. Please buy the wiremaintenence plan when we offer it to you, we're not trying to scam you, we really are trying to keep you from paying the exuberant costs our field techs and dispatchers charge you, just to unscrew and screw 1 thing back in.

That's all for this rant, thanks and have a pleasent day.

Labels: , , ,

posted by The James @ 7/08/2007 12:48:00 PM   0 Comments

Go Samsung Go!

Those Ca-raaaazie Japanese! :D

Labels: ,

posted by The James @ 7/08/2007 10:57:00 AM   0 Comments

06 July, 2007

Chipmunk of DOOOOOOM! V.KB2.0

Labels: , ,

posted by The James @ 7/06/2007 06:12:00 PM   0 Comments

CHIPMUNK OF...

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Labels: ,

posted by The James @ 7/06/2007 05:26:00 PM   0 Comments

Do it faster, make it harder with Daft Hands

Labels: ,

posted by The James @ 7/06/2007 03:41:00 PM   0 Comments

7-10 business days...

Really does mean 7-10 business days. Calling in every couple hours every day is not going to expedite the process. Neither will asking for a supervisor or a manager in a call center 300 miles from where you're at. In addition, no matter how many people tell you "Oh, it'll run today" or "It'll run tomrrow," odds are it won't. It'll still be 7-10 business days from the date the Line Maintenence order was put in place.

Also, please, do not get angry at me, start cussing me out, and giving me your life story on how long this issue has been going on or how much money you're loosing, or even if it has to do with your childs schoolwork. Flat out, I don't care.

It took six months, twelve different field techs, to get me up and running online the first time. So don't give me no BS about the fact I don't understand, cause believe me brother, I more than understand. Do you understand what it's like to live in a car for almost two years of your life? Scrounging for any bit of change you can muster up just to be able to afford gas to make it to your job? No? Oh that's right, that's because in your perfect little life, mommie and daddy paid for your schooling. You've always worked from home. Using a VPN across a residential network on a system that is still highly unstable and unreliable.

Please, customers, please! Learn this little fact, the nicer you are to the person on the line, no matter how many "Non-American" idiots you talk to prior to them, the quicker and easier your call will go for you. We might even offer you a better product or deal than what you're currently paying.

"I demand your highest up manager there!?!?!!" Nope, sorry, same response will be coming from them. Also, it is in fact true that if you disconnect your account with us, that you're email address will disappear along with it. And.... Yes, you do need to pay for an internet package per each modem, if you don't want to buy a router. No, I won't support your router, because you didn't get it from me, shutup!

*Blows own brains out*

This job is making me this close to killing myself. You guys are so lucky I don't own a gun, because I honestly do believe I would've taken it loaded to my head and pulled the trigger long by now just becasue of dealing with these fucking idiots on the phone.

Labels: , ,

posted by The James @ 7/06/2007 02:14:00 PM   0 Comments

04 July, 2007

Jorge and his shrimp

posted by The James @ 7/04/2007 03:07:00 AM   0 Comments

02 July, 2007

We don't hate your home business

Being run on your residential account... We just won't give you any more priority over our other 6 million customers.

Customer: "If someone hit my telephone pole outside, can you get someone out there right now?"

Me: Yes.

Customer: "So, since my signals on my modem are off you can't show me the same courtesy?"

Me: No, because as far as we know, you are the only one with an issue, and yes, you will need to be home for it, and no, just because you're loosing money and can't finish out your business for the day before you go on vacation for the fourth, in addition to violating our Terms of Service (Which we can now sue you for since you admited you're violating our ToS) by running your business on this residential account, you will not have a higher priority than Sissy next door who need the internet for her schoolwork, and Johnathon across the stree who needs the internet to download his porn, and Francis around the corner who needs the internet to site there and look at LOLCat pictures.

Labels: , , ,

posted by The James @ 7/02/2007 01:11:00 PM   0 Comments

Apperantly it doesn't...

Like mp4 format videos, so I need to convert them before uploading lol.

posted by The James @ 7/02/2007 12:22:00 PM   0 Comments

I CAN TAKE 1 HOUR OF VIDEO PER 100 FREE MEGS ON MY PHONE!!!! :O

posted by The James @ 7/02/2007 10:58:00 AM   0 Comments

01 July, 2007

169.254.x.x with coax out

Seriously, listen to me.

Idiots...

PC#2562562562 (precall number) B$ (refused wiremaintenence plan) BRING LAPTOP, APPEARS TO BE BAD NIC, REFUSED ANY TS I COULD OFFER Signals are perfect, there is no server issue, customer receiving 169 ip with coax out, fine on secondary pc.


Okay, anyone with a 1/16 brain, please answer me this.. If your Win2k box is pulling a 169 IP address no matter what it's connected to, which is a non-routable internal IP. This means the pc only talks to itself. Is this a Network problem with your provider, or is it a PC issue on your own end?

Guy argued with me for 50 God damn minutes about this, refusing to let me send a tech, refusing to have his PC checked out, wanted me to escalate to the NOC that he's having this issue. Oh, so yeah, it MUST be Charter's fault, no if and's or buts about it. But no, we don't want a tech out to investigate and escalate it properly if it really is a Charter issue, nope, we just want to sit and argue with a CSR about it. Talk about idiot.

I flat out asked him "What do you want me to do?" He said "I don't know" then I said "Okay, I will get a tech out to investigate" and he said "That won't solve it" I then asked him back "Okay then, what do you want me to do?" to which his reply was "Get it fixed!" and my response was "I will get a tech out to resolve." finally he agreed to it, I asked if he had any other questions, he said no, I said "Thanks for calling bye" and hung up. I couldn't take another minute of his bullshit.

Happy American Indian Nation Take-Over Day on the 4th of July :D

Labels: , , ,

posted by The James @ 7/01/2007 04:12:00 PM   0 Comments

Myspace Maps